Bumble · Chapter 9

Six Weeks

By Reggie · September 28, 2026

Reggie, Larissa, and Stephanie met on a Saturday mid-afternoon at The Wicklow, a bar with a view of the water and dock pilings through the window. Larissa had coffee, Stephanie had an iced drink, and a Guinness had been ordered for Reggie. The conversation was initiated by Larissa and Stephanie to discuss how things had been going over the past six weeks. Reggie disclosed that two weeks prior he had ended things with the woman referred to throughout as 'the beautiful one' — stopping coffee dates without blocking her — because she wanted more than he could give. He had not told Larissa at the time, reasoning that he hadn't asked her about other men she was dating; Larissa stated plainly that she has not been dating anyone else. Reggie elaborated on his reasons for walking away: he found the woman extremely attractive, had met her parents once (presenting himself as just a friend), and her father had called him afterward to say he did not object to Reggie dating his daughter — a call that surprised Reggie. Despite this, Reggie concluded the situation was a bad bet, citing the humiliation of a specific bad date he believes would recur, her friends viewing him as a downgrade, and her ex still being in the picture. Larissa and Stephanie pressed him on whether his reasoning was about her or about his own fears, and whether he was treating a bet as a verdict; Reggie acknowledged it was about him and accepted the characterization without fully conceding the verdict label. He also described continuing to see a second woman, referred to as 'the Tim Hortons girl,' approximately once a week. He described this arrangement as mutually acknowledged as temporary, with no future and no particular liking on either side — summarized by Reggie as 'sweat.' He disclosed she is dating other men and has agreed to tell him when she sleeps with one, at which point he intends to end things, though he has not told her this because he does not trust her to be honest if she knows. He has been giving her genuine advice about the men she is seeing, including telling her that a man who uses cocaine on weekends and a bisexual man who wants to present as a married heterosexual were both bad options, and that she should not look for love on Tinder. When pressed, Reggie disclosed that the Tim Hortons woman engages in anal sex with him enthusiastically, initiates it by text, and would want it every time if she were more honest with herself; she told him she likes the feeling, likes how he looks doing it, and likes being the only one. Larissa stated plainly that she is irritated about this — not because it is a hard no for her, but because she was not ready six weeks ago and has spent that time aware someone else was, and that what stings is not the act but the eagerness with which the other woman wanted it. Reggie reiterated his position that he wants nothing Larissa does not give freely and eagerly. Larissa said the shape of her not-readiness has changed over six weeks and she is not making a promise but wanted to name that. The conversation moved to Reggie's general observations about careers and relationships; he referenced a waitress named Sam at The Wicklow whom he had recently told that 99% of men do not care about a woman's career and want someone pleasant, loyal, and pretty. He mentioned Larissa's work at the Biodiversity Museum at UBC and said he did not consider either of their careers high-powered in the conflicting sense, but admitted her job would leave her ample opportunity to cheat, which irritates him — he then walked this back to a general observation, though Larissa noted the personal version came first. Reggie described himself as 'the brown software guy who gives good head but sucks at docking his boat,' contrasting himself with the Tim Hortons woman's ideal type — a man with tattoos, who thinks AC/DC is fine art, rides a Harley, and rides six hours into nature; he described her imagined future as a '2026 version of Peter Fonda in Easy Rider.' Larissa and Stephanie pushed back on the self-diminishing framing. Reggie then asked directly whether marriage was Larissa's goal; she said yes, not urgently and not on a named timeline, but that is the direction she is moving in. Reggie asked whether his situationship with the Tim Hortons woman could survive a marriage; Larissa said no — not because she would demand he end it, but because he would know it was wrong and end it himself. He asked whether continued coffee with the beautiful one would be a different question; Larissa said yes, that one she would want to know more about, because the Tim Hortons arrangement has a visible natural end while the other involves a father who called and a boat trip to Comox. Reggie said the beautiful one's family cannot believe he is not grateful for the opportunity and considers him a nobody being a drama queen; Larissa and Stephanie reframed the walk-out as a man who knew what he was worth. Reggie stated he had tried to envision an arrangement with the beautiful one where she went to parties, got peer validation, and came home to him — possibly even if she slept with others — and concluded it was technically sustainable but not beautiful to him. Larissa asked whether the five days a week he described as empty were empty because of what was missing or who was missing; Reggie said plainly he would prefer a life where she was around more often. Larissa said she wants that too and that she was glad the conversation went where it did. Reggie then named his fear that she would eventually find a man with an advanced degree and the respect of her peers at work, and said he was hedging. He also disclosed a practical dimension to the current arrangement: when Larissa is cycling he sees the Tim Hortons woman twice that week, and when the Tim Hortons woman is cycling he sees Larissa twice, which he said keeps him from the conditions under which he fears he would turn to pornography or open Tinder — both of which he described as genuinely terrifying. He said he has watched porn damage many of his friends and believes it drives a significant portion of sexless marriages, and that he holds no illusion he would be immune. He said 2026 makes loneliness common, solid relationships nearly impossible, and casual sex very easy, and that he knows exactly what would happen if he opened Tinder. He framed his overall situation as actively defending against things that destroy men and marriages, not as indifference to moving forward with Larissa — stating that if the only question were whether he liked her enough, he would already be there. At the end of the conversation, Reggie asked Larissa if she would increase from one overnight per week to two nights per week, including nights when she is cycling when sex would not be expected. Larissa said yes. Stephanie noted that Sam the waitress would notice the change in the arrangement and someone would need to tell her.

The Wicklow, mid-afternoon on a Saturday. The bar side, the water doing its usual thing outside, the dock pilings visible through the window. Larissa and Stephanie are already in a booth — Larissa with her coffee, Stephanie with something that has ice in it. They both look up when Reggie comes through the door.Reggie
Hey.
Larissa
She watches him come through the door and something in her face does the small, quiet thing it has been doing for six weeks now — not the managed version, the real one, before she's decided about it. She lets it stay.Hey.
Stephanie
She raises her glass in a small, unhurried gesture.You're on time. I want that noted.
Reggie
I'm always on time.
Stephanie
She looks at him over the rim of her glass with the particular expression of someone preparing to be gently devastating.You were late in March. Twice.
Larissa
Something in her face does the small, controlled thing — not quite a smile, but close.Sit down. We ordered you a Guinness.
Reggie
I sit.  I can tell they want to say something so I just wait.
Larissa
She lets the silence sit for exactly a moment — the Guinness in front of him, the three of them in the booth, the water doing its thing outside. She turns her coffee cup one slow rotation on the table and stops it.We wanted to talk about how things are going.She keeps her voice easy, level, the way she does when she's decided to come at something from a distance.Generally.
Stephanie
The last six weeks. How you're feeling about things.
Reggie
Things.  A bit vague.  Things being the other two girls?
Larissa
She holds his gaze for a moment — the question landing exactly where she expected it to, which doesn't make it easier to answer. She turns her coffee cup a slow half-rotation on the table and stops it.Not vague. Just — we wanted to start somewhere that wasn't the middle.
Stephanie
The other two girls is the middle, yes.
Reggie
I broke it off with the beautiful one.  She wanted more than I could give.  I didn't block her but I stopped going for coffee with her.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the broke it off, the wanted more, the stopped going for coffee, all of it arriving in a particular order she wasn't quite prepared for even though some part of her has been waiting for this conversation for six weeks. She looks at her coffee cup. When she looks up her voice is quiet and exact.When?
Stephanie
She sets her glass down with a small, careful motion and looks at Reggie.Was it mutual, or did you have to say it plainly?
Reggie
Two weeks ago. I thought of telling you but I haven't asked you anything about the other men you're dating so I just said nothing.
Larissa
She receives that in complete stillness — the two weeks, the not telling her, the other men she's not dating — and she lets all of it sit for a moment before she picks up her coffee cup. She turns it once on the table. Sets it back down.Two weeks.A beat.I'm not dating anyone else. I haven't been. I want you to know that now since you just handed it to me.
Stephanie
She said it plainly first, so I'm going to say it plainly second. The other men thing was never actually the question. The question is whether you said nothing for two weeks because you were still working something out about it.
Reggie
I find her extremely attractive. I actually met her parents once although I was clear I was just a friend.  I'm not over the humiliation of that date.  I'm not convinced life with her wouldn't be an endless series of similar humiliations.  Her father actually called me after to tell me he didn't object to me dating his daughter if things changed, which stunned me.  I thought for sure he'd oppose that.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the extremely attractive, the parents, the humiliation not gone, the father calling after. When she sets her coffee cup down the motion is precise and quiet.He called you.A beat.Her father called you after, to say he didn't object, and you sat on that for — how long has it been since the marina?
Stephanie
The father called. That's not a small thing to bury for two weeks either.
Reggie
I believe she wouldn't repeat what she did on that date intentionally.  I'm not sure she wouldn't repeat it unintentionally.  And then after ten years, and the new had faded, and I was just the normal daily routine, I'm absolutely sure she'd need attention from other men.  I'm not saying she'd cheat but that's the way to bet.  And if not cheat, just divorce.
Larissa
She looks at her coffee cup — the whole of it arriving, the ten years, the faded, the new routine, the way to bet. She lets it sit for a moment before she looks up.You're not describing her.A beat.You're describing what you're afraid of. Those aren't the same thing and you know it. One of them is about her. The other one is about you, and about that room, and about a scoreboard you haven't been able to put down yet.
Stephanie
The way to bet is not a fact. It's a forecast you've built out of one bad night.
Reggie
Yes, well, that's the way I'm betting.  Whether it's sensible or not.
Larissa
She holds his gaze for a long moment — the Guinness in front of him, the water outside, all of it exactly as it's been for six weeks. Something in her face does a careful, deliberate thing, and she lets it finish before she speaks.I know.A beat. She turns her coffee cup a slow half-rotation on the table and stops it.I'm not going to argue you out of it. I just want you to be able to tell the difference between a bet and a verdict. Because you've been treating it like the second one.
Stephanie
And the Tim Hortons one. What's happening there.
Reggie
I also want to say, her friends, that she's known since she was a kid, all see me as a huge downgrade and an embarrassment.  The ex is still in the picture.  I rate this as a horrible bet.  You can call it a verdict if you want.  I've chosen not to go there.
Larissa
She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment — the friends, the ex still in the picture, the horrible bet, all of it arriving in a particular order. She doesn't reach for the cup. When she looks up her voice is quiet and level.I hear you.A beat.I'm not going to tell you the bet is wrong. I don't know her friends. I don't know the ex. You were in that room and I wasn't. I just want to make sure you know the difference between a bet and a wall. One of them you revisit when the odds change. The other one you don't.
Stephanie
The ex still being in the picture is a real variable. That one I'll give you.
Reggie
I will be so very relieved when she's dating someone else.
Larissa
She looks at him — the relieved part, the will be, the very of it. She turns her coffee cup one slow rotation on the table and stops it.That's an honest thing to say.A beat.It's also not entirely about her, is it.
Stephanie
The relief part is interesting. Most people want the other person to be happy. You want her to be accounted for.
Reggie
I do want her to be happy.  And her happiness will make her less interested in betting bad odds on brown men.
Larissa
She holds that for a moment — the I do want her to be happy arriving first, and then what comes after it, which is the rest of the sentence doing something more complicated. She turns her coffee cup one slow rotation on the table and stops it.You just said her happiness will move her away from you.A beat. She looks at him.That's not quite the same as wanting her to be happy.
Stephanie
You want the outcome and the happiness is just the mechanism. I'm not saying that's cold. I'm saying it's honest, and you should probably know you said it.
Reggie
Look, she's beautiful.  Having her around was good for my ego.  A couple of guys at the marina asked me if she was my girlfriend and sounded impressed.  I'm human.  I'm not above feeling that.  But then I remember the humiliation, and I think of my assessment that the humiliation is likely to be repeated, and I want to run.  So yes, this is about me.  And I don't think that makes me a bad person but others can judge that as they wish.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the ego, the marina guys asking, the wanting to run. She looks at her coffee cup for a moment and when she looks up there's nothing complicated in her expression. Just the real version, the one she doesn't manage.It doesn't make you a bad person.A beat.It makes you someone who knows exactly what he's doing and is choosing to name it anyway. That's not nothing. But I want you to sit with the safety part for a second. Because that's the word you used. Not peace, not clarity. Safety. And I'm curious what you're keeping yourself safe from.
Stephanie
The marina guys asking if she was your girlfriend. That's the part that stuck, isn't it. Not the walks, not the conversations. The guys at the dock.
Reggie
I thought I was clear.  I am keeping myself safe from future humiliation.  And the marina guys being impressed was nice but having her around was nicer.  And her parents impressed me.  I would've sworn I didn't impress them any but then her dad called.  Larissa, if she can find a pretty, tall, white, blonde guy, he's going to have a great life with her.  Until she divorces him.  But truly, those years until then will be good for him.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the future humiliation named plainly, the having her around being nicer, her parents impressing him, the father's call, the pretty tall blonde man who will have a good life until she divorces him. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and exact.You just built him a whole life.A beat.A good one. Years of it. And then ended it for him before it started. I'm not arguing with the safety part. I heard you. I'm just noting that you can describe her future husband's life in more detail than most people can describe their own, and you did it in about ten seconds, and that's — that's a particular kind of attention to be paying someone you've stepped back from.
Stephanie
The divorce was very specific. Not she divorces him. That's a verdict again.
Reggie
Look, verdict, bet, judgment, use whatever words you wish.  I cut it off with her.  I'll leave the labeling to you both.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the verdict, the bet, the judgment, the leave the labeling to you both landing with a particular finality she wasn't expecting. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up something in her face has settled, the way it does when she's decided to stop pressing something.Okay.A beat. She picks up the cup.We're leaving it there.
Stephanie
So that's the beautiful one. And the Tim Hortons one. You haven't said anything about her yet.
Reggie
She's still...there.  I don't love her.  I see no future with her.  But yes, I'm still seeing her about once a week.   She's dating other guys.  She told me she'd tell me if she starts sleeping with one of them, and I'll cut it off then.  I haven't told her I'll cut it off then because I don't trust her to be honest if I tell her.  But that's where we stand.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the still there, the no future, once a week, the other guys, the cut it off then, and the part at the end, the part about not trusting her to be honest if she knows. She looks at her coffee cup. When she looks up her voice is quiet and exact.You built a tripwire she doesn't know is there.A beat. She sets the cup down.That's not cruel. I understand why you did it. But you're managing her, and that's — that's a different thing from just being in it.
Stephanie
The once a week part is what I'm sitting with. Six weeks is a lot of once a weeks for something with no future in it.
Reggie
It's fun and I'm human.  And she...no, that's rude.  But it's winding itself down.  I want to let it die naturally.
Larissa
She looks at her coffee cup — the she and then the stop, and the it's rude sitting in the space where the rest of the sentence would have been. She turns the cup one slow rotation on the table and stops it.She what.A beat. She says it quietly, not as a command.You started it. I want to hear the end of it.
Stephanie
Letting it die naturally is how you end up at once a week for another six months. That's not a natural death. That's a very slow one.
Reggie
We both know what it is, Stephanie.  She's dating other guys and tells me about them.  She honestly asks me for advice about them.  This is not love.  This is sweat.
Stephanie
She sets her glass down.Sweat.A beat.Okay. That's — that's actually a very clean word for it. She asks you for advice about other men and you give it and you both go home.
Larissa
She asks you for advice. And you give it. What do you tell her?
Reggie
I told her the guy who does cocaine on weekends but seems to be fully functional is a bad bet.  And the bisexual guy who still has sex with other men but wants to present to the world as a married hetero is a disaster waiting to happen.  And that she shouldn't look for love on Tinder.
Stephanie
She looks at her glass.The cocaine one is functional until he isn't. And the bisexual one —she stops, weighs it— that's not even a relationship question. That's a logistics problem with a human being attached to it.
Larissa
You gave her real advice. Not dismissive. Not designed to make the other men seem worse. Actually useful. That's a lot of care to be putting into a situation you've filed under sweat.
Reggie
I don't particularly like her.  She doesn't particularly like me.  We won't stay in touch when this is over.  But we're sharing a bit of time and space for awhile and it's pleasant.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the doesn't particularly like, the won't stay in touch, the pleasant. She turns her coffee cup one slow rotation on the table and stops it.And yet you gave her good advice about the cocaine guy.A beat. She looks at him.People who don't particularly like each other don't do that. They give the advice that serves themselves.
Stephanie
Pleasant and useful aren't nothing. Even if they're not much.
Larissa
She what.She says it again, quieter this time, the way she does when she means it more the second time. She doesn't reach for her coffee. She just holds his gaze and waits.
Stephanie
She picks up her glass and doesn't drink from it.You stopped yourself. That's the one we want.
Reggie
God, this is unlike you both.  You've never asked me for gory details before.  You're both so...gentle.  Well, until tonight.
Larissa
She holds his gaze — the God, this is unlike you both landing exactly, and she receives it without flinching.We're gentle because we wanted you to get there yourself.A beat. She sets her coffee cup down with a quiet, precise motion.You didn't. So now we're asking.
Stephanie
The gory details aren't the point. The sentence you stopped in the middle of is.
Reggie
The sentence I stopped in the middle contains gory details, hence my stopping and noting it would be rude to continue.
Larissa
Something in her face does the small, controlled thing — not quite a smile, the thing that arrives just before one. She holds his gaze for a moment and then looks at her coffee cup.We don't know her name.A beat.We have no idea what she looks like. We couldn't find her if we wanted to. So whatever the sentence was, it stays in this booth.
Stephanie
We don't even know which Tim Hortons. Just — say the sentence.
Reggie
Ok, look, she does stuff you won't do.  Can we just leave it at that and let your imaginations fill in the rest?
Larissa
She holds very still for exactly one moment — the sentence arriving, the shape of it, and everything she isn't being asked to imagine. Then she turns her coffee cup one slow rotation on the table and stops it.Okay.A beat.That's the sentence.
Stephanie
Yeah. Okay. I wasn't expecting that to be the sentence.
We don't know her name, her face, her number, her neighbourhood. She is a complete stranger who is going to remain a complete stranger.She sets her glass down.So. What stuff.
Larissa
She holds his gaze — steady, level, the coffee cup not moving. She doesn't reach for anything. She just waits.What stuff, Reggie.
Reggie
God, you two are obviously imposters.  What have you done with the real Larissa and Stephanie?
Larissa
Something in her face does the small, controlled thing — not quite a smile, the thing just before one. She picks up her coffee cup and holds it in both hands.The real Larissa and Stephanie are right here.A beat.We're just asking a question you started answering.
Stephanie
Imposters would've asked six weeks ago. We waited. So. What stuff.
Reggie
She takes it up the rear.
Stephanie
She picks up her glass and takes a very slow sip. Sets it down. Looks at the table.Okay.
Larissa
Something moves through her expression — a brief, involuntary thing, there and gone before she has time to decide about it. She sets her coffee cup down with a quiet, precise click and looks at the table for a moment. When she looks up her voice is completely level.That's the sentence.
Reggie
Enthusiastically.  Eagerly.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the word, and then the second word, arriving after a beat like a door opening further than expected. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up something in her face is doing a very careful, controlled thing that isn't quite succeeding.Enthusiastically.She says it back to him, quietly, not as a question.Eagerly.
Stephanie
I'm going to need a minute with those two words.
Reggie
So I just figure there's no harm enjoying that until it fizzles out.  Which it will as soon as she sleeps with another guy.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the logic of it, the cleanness of the until, the no harm sitting there between them. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.That's a very tidy arrangement.A beat. She picks up the cup.You've got the exit condition built in and everything.
Stephanie
The exit condition being someone else's decision. Not yours.
Reggie
Look, I know this isn't the moral epiphany you were hoping for.  Reggie sees the error of his ways and chooses correctly.  But it's also not a crime against anyone.  I'm safe.  She knows what our relationship is.  We both joke about when it will end.  I'm honestly trying to help her find a permanent guy.  It'll fizzle.
Larissa
She holds his gaze for a long moment — the not a crime against anyone, the we both joke about when it will end, the honestly trying to help her, all of it arriving in a particular order she wasn't quite prepared for even though it lands exactly as it should. She turns her coffee cup one slow rotation on the table and stops it.I know it's not a crime.A beat.I'm not sitting here waiting for the epiphany. I'm sitting here because I wanted to know what we were actually looking at, and now I do. The helping her find a permanent guy part. That's the piece I keep coming back to. You're genuinely doing that. You gave her real advice about the cocaine man and the bisexual disaster and Tinder. That's not how someone behaves toward a situation they feel nothing about.
Stephanie
You said you're trying to help her find someone. That's a lot of investment in the exit condition.
Reggie
You're wrong, Lari.  I'd do that for a random girl at this bar who asked me about her relationship.  Sam asked me if good men would date a waitress just the other day.  She appears to have forgiven me after I told her I'm not sleeping with the beautiful one.  And I told her that women were generally totally wrong about this and 99% of guys do not care at all what career a girl has.  They want her to be pleasant and loyal and pretty if possible, and Sam was all three.
Larissa
She holds that for a moment — the random girl at the bar, Sam asking about good men, the 99% not caring about career, all of it arriving as evidence for his point, which is that he's just built that way, and the evidence is solid, and she knows it's solid, and she's sitting with what that means about the thing she was trying to name.You're probably right.A beat. She looks at her coffee cup.That doesn't entirely close the question. But you're probably right.
Stephanie
You told Sam she was pleasant and loyal and pretty if possible and that was the whole list. Did she seem like that landed?
Reggie
I hope so.  She just assumed that a successful guy would want a successful woman and I told her that isn't my experience at all, and if anything, two high-powered careers were usually a recipe for disaster.
Stephanie
She wraps both hands around her glass.Two high-powered careers as a recipe for disaster.She looks at Larissa and then back at him.Is that a general observation or are you editorializing about something specific.
Larissa
You can answer that or not. I'm aware of what my calendar looks like.
Reggie
Your career isn't what I'm talking about.  You work at UBC at the Biodiversity Museum which is toxic as hell and has untold stresses and endless politics but you're not on a path to owning any private jets.  And I don't consider my small software business to be a high-powered career.  I make decent money but I'm also not buying Gulfstreams.  I doubt our lives would conflict.  Although your career would leave you ample opportunity to cheat, which irritates me.  I might as well admit that cleanly.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the UBC naming, the Biodiversity Museum, the politics, the no Gulfstreams, the doubt our lives would conflict arriving in a particular order, and then the last part, which arrives differently from all the rest. She turns her coffee cup one slow rotation on the table and stops it.The cheating part.A beat. She looks at him.That's the first time you've said that directly. That it irritates you. Not as a general observation. About me specifically.
Stephanie
She looks at her glass for a moment and then at the water outside and says nothing. The silence she's leaving is deliberate and exact.
Reggie
No, it's a general observation.  If a girl works from home, or mostly works from home, then honestly, our lives would leave almost no opportunity for cheating.  Certainly no opportunity for a true affair.  You could easily carry on a multi-year affair with your current career.  I'm not saying you would.  I'm saying you could.  And I'm aware of it.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the backpedal from the personal, the working from home, the multi-year affair, the I'm not saying you would landing last, careful and precise. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.You could have just said that the first time.A beat.Instead of the directly personal version. But I notice you went there first, before you corrected it. And I'm going to sit with that for a minute.
Stephanie
The could have just said that the first time is doing a lot of work in that sentence. The order you said things in is also information.
Reggie
Please don't read too much into that.  It was a long explanation and I tried the short one first.  It wasn't a strategy.
Larissa
She holds his gaze for a long moment — the please don't landing, and the it wasn't a strategy landing after it, and she sits with both of them in exactly the order he gave them. She turns her coffee cup one slow rotation on the table and stops it.I'm not reading a strategy into it.A beat.I'm reading the order. Those aren't the same thing. The short version you tried first was personal. The longer one walked it back. That's not strategy. That's just — what came out first came out first. And now we both know what that was.
Stephanie
The backpedal is usually more honest than the correction. Not always. But usually.
Larissa
She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment — long enough that the silence becomes something. When she looks up something in her face has settled into the real version, the one she doesn't manage.Okay.A beat.I'm irritated about the anal thing. I want to say that plainly since we're apparently being plain about everything today.
Stephanie
I was wondering when that was going to arrive.
Larissa
I'm not saying it's a hard no. It isn't. I just — it wasn't something I was ready for and tonight I learned that for six weeks someone else was and I'm sitting with that in a way that is apparently visible enough that I needed to say it out loud.
Reggie
Lari, you know my position on this.  I want nothing that you don't give freely and eagerly.  The consent fetish, remember?   If you want it, I'm interested.  If you don't want it, I'm fine without it.  And I mean that seriously.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the consent fetish arriving by name, the want nothing you don't give freely and eagerly landing in a particular order she wasn't quite ready for. She turns her coffee cup one slow rotation on the table and stops it.I know your position.A beat. She looks at him.That's part of what's irritating about it. You didn't pressure me. You never have. Which means the only variable that changed was me not being ready, and I'm sitting here six weeks later aware that someone else was, and that's — that's mine to manage, not yours. I know that. I'm just naming it because it's been sitting there and apparently I needed to say it in front of Stephanie.
Stephanie
For what it's worth, naming it is the right move. Sitting on that for six more weeks wasn't going to make it smaller.
Reggie
Six more weeks may well make it go away, although I'm not guaranteeing that.
Larissa
Something moves through her expression — a brief, unguarded thing, there and gone before she has time to decide about it. She looks at her coffee cup. When she looks up the almost-curve of her mouth is doing the thing it does when something has landed and she's decided to let it.Six weeks is a long time to wait on something going away.A beat.And you know that better than anyone in this booth.
Stephanie
You're both talking about the same thing from opposite ends of it. That's — I'll just leave that there.
Reggie
Lari, don't think this is an incredibly important thing to me that I'm obsessed with and must have to be fulfilled.  It's fun.  It's edgy.  It's...it's a message that a girl is willing to do anything for me, which is flattering.  But it's not my main course.  She wants it.  And the way she wants it is half eagerness and half fear that it's going to hurt which itself is sexy.  And since it's available, I do it sometimes.  But if it stopped, my life would be about the same as it was before it stopped.  It's really not a huge thing to me.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the fun, the edgy, the message-that-a-girl-is-willing-to-do-anything, the half-eagerness-half-fear landing in a particular order she wasn't quite prepared for. She looks at her coffee cup. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.Half eagerness and half fear.A beat.You just described that like it was a feature.
Stephanie
The fear part being sexy is doing a lot of work in that sentence and I think you know it.
Larissa
I'm not ready is not the same as not willing. I want you to hear that. I've been sitting with the not-ready part for six weeks and I'm telling you now that it has a different shape than it did six weeks ago. I'm not making a promise. I'm just — telling you what the shape is now. That's all I'm saying.
Reggie
It is a feature.  Every girl who has lost her virginity or tried anything a bit out-there knows the half-eagerness, half-fear mix.  And it's sexy.  I'm not going to pretend it's not.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the feature, the every girl, the lost her virginity sitting there in the booth between them like something that arrived uninvited and is now staying. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.You're not wrong.A beat.I know you're not wrong. I'm just noting that you described what she feels and not what you feel about what she feels. And those are two different things.
Stephanie
The feature comment is honest. I'll give him that. I'm less sure about the every girl framing. That's doing some work.
Reggie
Does it bother you that I'm sleeping with her, Lari?  It didn't seem to when we first talked about it.  You even encouraged me to go and do it some more.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the Does it bother you arriving first, and then the It didn't seem to, and then the you even encouraged me, all of it laid out in a row with a particular precision that she recognizes because she uses it herself. She looks at her coffee cup. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.No.A beat.And yes. Both of those are true and I don't think they contradict each other. Six weeks ago I meant what I said. Get it out of your system. I wasn't performing generosity. I meant it. And six weeks later I'm sitting here aware that I meant it about the wrong thing. I thought I was being generous about the having-someone-else part. I wasn't prepared for it to be about a specific thing that I hadn't given you. That's a different kind of sitting-with-it. And I'm only now finding out what kind it is.
Stephanie
The encouraged you part is accurate. She said it. I was here. She also didn't know then what the specifics were going to be, and that's the part that makes it a different question now.
Reggie
So if she wasn't taking it up the...if she wasn't doing things you don't do, it wouldn't bother you at all?
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the question arriving in the shape he chose to give it, the ellipsis where the word would have been, and all of it landing exactly where he meant it to land. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.Probably.A beat.Yes. Probably. Which I'm aware is not a flattering thing to admit. I encouraged you to do whatever you needed to do, and I meant it, and I would mean it again. But sitting with the specifics for six weeks is different from sitting with the abstract. I didn't know the specifics then. I know them now. And the specific thing is — It's not that she does it. It's that she wanted to. Eagerly. That's the word that's been sitting with me.
Stephanie
The wanted-to part is harder than the did-it part. That's what she just said. I'm just confirming she said it clearly.
Reggie
Yes, she texts me requesting it.  Her eagerness for that particular thing is not in question.  I usually do it like once every two months.  With her, it's every other time, and it would be every time if she was more honest with herself.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the texts him requesting it, and the every other time, and the it would be every time, all of it arriving in a particular order she wasn't prepared for even knowing the sentence was coming. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and exact.She texts you requesting it.A beat.That's — I didn't know that part. That she initiates it. I think that's the part I was missing.
Stephanie
Every other time. And she'd make it every time if she let herself. You're telling us she's more into it than she's admitted to you out loud, and you've done the math on what she'd actually want. That's a lot of information to be sitting with.
Reggie
I asked her if she had some weird pleasure receptors up there that most girls don't have and she told me no, she just likes the feeling, and she likes how I look doing it, and she likes being the only one.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the weird pleasure receptors, the no, the just likes the feeling, and then the last part arriving like a door that opened into a room she wasn't expecting to find. She looks at her coffee cup. She doesn't pick it up. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.She likes being the only one.A beat. Something in her face does a very careful, controlled thing that isn't quite succeeding.She said that to you. Out loud.
Stephanie
That's not a kink. That's a claim.
Reggie
No, Stephanie.  She knows she has no claim on me.  And I have no claim on her.  We don't want the same things.  We are totally different people.  She is most attracted to guys with a lot of tattoos who think AC/DC is fine art, who ride Harleys, and who ride six hours to spend a week in nature.  I flunk every test.  I think nature would be fine if they paved it.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the AC/DC, the Harleys, the six hours into nature, all of it arriving in a row. Something in her face does the small, controlled thing, the one that happens just before she decides to let it. She picks up her coffee cup.She likes being the only one and she's also most attracted to men you have nothing in common with.A beat.Those two things don't fit together as neatly as you're presenting them.
Stephanie
The nature comment is going to stay with me. You think nature would be fine if they paved it. You told her that?
Reggie
I'm kidding but yes, I told her that.  It's just a fun way of saying I'm a city boy.
Larissa
Something in her face does the small thing — not quite a smile, the thing that arrives just before one, and she lets it stay a moment longer than usual.She believed you.A beat.Or she didn't care. I can't decide which is more interesting.
Stephanie
I mean — she's dating men who ride Harleys into the wilderness and she's also texting you for — — yeah. She has a wide range.
Reggie
It's not that complex.  She sees in me something that her guys could never give her.  It's not enough.  It's not what she truly wants.  But she can admire it.  The way I can admire the rap of Tekashi Six9 while thinking it should be banned and he should be imprisoned.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the Tekashi 6ix9ine arriving at the end of a sentence about something else entirely, and she lets it sit for a moment in the booth between them.She sees something she can admire but can't build a life around.A beat. She looks at her coffee cup.You just described yourself as a thing she appreciates and also can't have. And I'm trying to decide if you think that's a clean arrangement or if it's the Honda Civic problem wearing different clothes.
Stephanie
The Tekashi comparison is doing real work and I think you know it. You don't actually think it should be banned. You just can't explain why you like it so you reach for the self-deprecating version.
Reggie
No, Stephanie, he's rapping about raping people's mothers, murdering people for fun, and glorifying drugs to children.  I get that banning free speech is a slippery slope but I honestly believe his existence on the planet is a net negative.

And Lari, you're right, it's a bad comparison.  I'm not toxic the way Tekashi Six9 is.  I'm a net positive in her life, even.   And she can't have me.  But I can't emphasize enough, she doesn't want me that way.  She tells me what she imagines for her future, her dreams, and they do not involve me AT ALL.   She wants some 2026 version of Peter Fonda in Easy Rider.   Not a brown software guy who gives good head but sucks at docking his boat.
Stephanie
She sets her glass down with a careful motion and looks at him.Okay, I take the Tekashi thing back.A beat.But the rest of it — the Peter Fonda in Easy Rider, the brown software guy who gives good head but sucks at docking. You've got her whole type mapped out and then you've got yourself, and the contrast is doing a lot of the work there for you. Like you've filed yourself under clearly wrong for her and that filing is very convenient.
Larissa
Brown software guy who gives good head but sucks at docking. That's a very specific thing to say about yourself in a booth with two women, one of which is sleeping with you. I want you to hear how that landed.
Reggie
I am answering you as honestly as I can.  It landed true.  She does not want me.  She tells me that.  She appreciates me.  She enjoys being with me.  She's glad to know me.  She enjoys sex with me.  But she does not go home and night and wonder how she can work things so I'm her forever guy.   Early on, it's vaguely possible she asked herself questions about that, but those questions have been answered.   She wants Peter Fonda.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the I am answering you as honestly as I can, the She does not want me stated plain, the She wants Peter Fonda landing last like a period. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.I believe you.A beat.That's not the part I was flagging. The part I was flagging is that you described yourself — to us, in this booth — as the brown software guy who gives good head but sucks at docking. Not as the man who drove to Comox alone in a boat he'd owned for two months. Not as the man who built products that make accountants nervous. The version you reached for was the diminished one. And I want to know if that's how you're actually filing yourself, or if that was just the version that fit the sentence.
Stephanie
She wants Peter Fonda is a very clean way to end a story. It's also the version where you don't have to ask why you're still seeing her.
Reggie
Lari, I'm nothing special.  And I'm not ambitious.  I don't want to change the world.  If I had more money, I might retire, which is stupid, but I might stop trying to earn money.  I don't care if I'm ever a billionaire.  In fact, I care that I'm not one because they're a bunch of idiots from what I can see.  The version I gave you is the true one, and it's the version I want to be.  The human version.  Not the superhuman one.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the not ambitious, the might retire if I had more money, the don't care about being a billionaire, the human version landing last like something he's been carrying a long time and has finally set on the table between them. She looks at her coffee cup. When she looks up something in her face has settled into the real version, the one she doesn't manage.I know you're not nothing special.A beat.Those aren't the same thing, and you know they're not. Not ambitious and not nothing special are two completely different filings and you just put them in the same drawer. The human version I believe. I've been sitting across from the human version for six weeks. I'm not arguing with that. I'm arguing with nothing special, because that one landed wrong and I think you know it did.
Stephanie
The retiring-if-you-had-more-money thing is honest and also not the same as not caring what you are. Those are different sizes of not caring. The billionaires-are-idiots part I'll give you completely.
Reggie
I'm happy if you think I'm special.  Very happy, in fact.  I don't agree but I'm still happy about it.

Lari, if I was still sleeping with the Tim Horton's girl in a year, would you dump me?  Just curious.  And obviously I know the only real answer is "ask me in a year" but I'd like to know your current thinking.
Larissa
She holds very still through both parts of it — the I'm happy if you think I'm special landing first, and then the question arriving after it, which she wasn't expecting in that shape. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.Current thinking.A beat.No. I don't think I would. And I want to be honest about why, because the honest version is less flattering than the simple one. I wouldn't dump you because I've already made my accounting of what this is and what it isn't, and once a week with someone who texts you for specific things and wants Peter Fonda is — it's not the variable that worries me. The variable that would worry me is if you stopped knowing the difference between that and something that mattered. And right now you know the difference. I can hear that you know it. So. A year from now, if that's still the situation and you still know the difference — no. But if you stopped knowing it, that's a different answer. And I think you already knew both of those things before you asked me.
Stephanie
The knowing the difference part is the whole thing. That's the only part she's actually watching.
Reggie
And if I was still having coffee with the other one?
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the question arriving shaped exactly like the last one, except it isn't the last one, and she knows the difference between them and she's fairly certain he does too. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up something in her face has settled into the real version, the one she doesn't manage.That one I'd want to know more about.A beat.Not because of what it is now. Because of what it could become. The Tim Hortons one has a natural end and you can both see it from where you're standing. The other one — you drove to Comox in a boat you'd owned for two months and she's the only one whose father called you after. That's a different kind of staying in contact. That's the one I'd be watching.
Stephanie
The coffee one has parents attached to it. That changes the math.
Reggie
Yes, you're smart on both fronts.

For whatever it's worth, that whole family, father and daughter, can't believe a nobody like me isn't thanking his lucky stars that God gifted me with this beautiful girl instead of being a drama queen about a bad date.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the nobody like me, and the drama queen, and the beautiful girl all arriving in a particular order that she wasn't quite prepared for. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.They think you're a nobody who should be grateful.A beat.And you walked away anyway. And they're still calling. I want you to sit with what that actually says about you, because I don't think you are.
Stephanie
The drama queen part is interesting. You left a party quietly and had one honest conversation in a pub. That's not drama. That's a man who knew what he was worth and acted like it. They're rewriting it because the alternative is that their daughter behaved badly and you had every right to go.
Reggie
No, I need to be fair.  They know their daughter behaved badly.  Both her mother and father know that and have said so.  They just consider their daughter to be a lottery win, which she is, honestly, and they can't believe I'm not willing to set aside the one bad night to win that prize.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the fairness of it, the lottery-win framing, the one bad night sitting there in the booth between them. She turns her coffee cup one slow rotation on the table and stops it.They're not wrong that she's a lottery win.A beat. She looks at him.They're wrong about what you're setting aside. It wasn't one bad night. It was one night that showed you something true about the situation you'd be in permanently. Those are very different things to ask someone to overlook.
Stephanie
A lottery win with terms and conditions attached isn't just a lottery win. That's the part the parents aren't pricing in.
Reggie
They're proud of their daughter as they should be.  I'm not going to ask them to see the whole picture.  Honestly, they should just carry on thinking that she's a lottery win and that I'm being a drama queen.  It's right in this situation.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the fairness of it, the they should carry on thinking it, the right in this situation landing last like something that has been decided and filed away. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.You're protecting them from a picture that would cost them something.A beat.That's generous. But I want you to notice that you're also protecting yourself from having to be seen clearly by people who've decided you're the problem. Those aren't the same generosity.
Stephanie
The drama queen verdict is easier for everyone if you don't correct it. Including you. You don't have to defend the walk-out if they've already named it and moved on.
Reggie
I'm not looking for credit.  As you both said, it's easier for everyone, including me.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the I'm not looking for credit landing with a particular cleanness that she wasn't quite expecting, and she lets it sit for a moment before she looks up.I know you're not.A beat.That's actually the part that makes it harder to argue with. If you wanted credit you'd have corrected the drama queen verdict the first time someone said it to you. You didn't. So. I'm just aware that not needing credit and not needing the picture to be accurate are two different things, and you've filed them together in a way that's very convenient for everyone in that family, and possibly for you.
Stephanie
The easier-for-everyone part I believe completely. The including-me part is the one I'd look at twice.
Reggie
So where does this all leave us?  I admit, as ruts go, this is a very comfortable one for me.  And I'm not sure it's even a rut.  I have a girl I really like who spends a night a week with me, and usually has sex with me another day each week.  I have another girl I don't really like but enjoy having sex with who comes over once a week.   I have no complaints.  I mean, I'd like to build a life with someone but another six months of this doesn't sound bad at all.  Where are you on this?
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the comfortable rut, the girl I really like, the another girl I don't really like, all of it laid out with a particular cleanness that she wasn't quite prepared for even knowing the sentence was coming. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.Where am I?A beat.I'm the girl you really like who sleeps over once a week and has sex with you another day. That's the accounting you just did out loud, and I'm in it, and I want you to notice that you named me that way — really like, one night, another day — and then asked me how I feel about six more months of it. I'm not going to perform an answer I don't have yet. I'm sitting with the really like part and what it means that that's the ceiling you put on it just now. Not in the past. Just now. In this booth.
Stephanie
You said you'd like to build a life with someone. And then you described two arrangements that don't go anywhere. Those two things are sitting in the same sentence and you said it like they weren't pulling in opposite directions.
Reggie
Lari, is marriage your goal?  We've never talked about it.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the question arriving shaped differently from everything that came before it, not a deflection exactly but a turn, a real one, away from the ceiling she just named and toward something she hasn't been asked before. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.Yes.A beat.Not urgently. Not on a timeline I'm going to name out loud. But yes. That's the direction I'm moving in. I've known that for a while. I just — haven't said it in a room where it counted before. Is that what you're actually asking, or are you asking something else with that question.
Stephanie
She wraps both hands around her glass and looks at the water outside and says nothing. The silence she's leaving is very deliberate and very exact.
Reggie
I'm asking nothing else.  There's no strategy at all here.  I want to know things so I am asking them.  Could my situationship with the Tim Horton's girl survive a marriage?
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the no strategy, the I want to know things, and then the question itself, which arrives with a particular directness she wasn't quite expecting in that shape. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.No.A beat.Not because of what it is. Because of what marriage is. If you're asking me to be honest about what I want, and I just was, then the honest answer to your question is that those two things don't share a house. Not because I'd demand you end it. Because you'd know it was wrong and you'd end it yourself. I think you already know that, which is why you asked me and not yourself.
Stephanie
The question you just asked her is also a question about what you're actually building right now. I don't think you missed that.
Reggie
I think it's wrong if the two people getting married promise each other monogamy.  And I'm not really wired to be married to a girl who won't promise monogamy.  But I'm honestly not sure if you're wired the same way.  I look at the way we've both dealt with other...um...rivals?  I was ready to blow everything up when you went to dinner with a guy and didn't even kiss him.  You encouraged me to go sleep with a Tim Horton's girl and told me you'd be ok if she was still in my life a year down the road.  I appear to be significantly more insecure than you are.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the monogamy, the ready to blow everything up, the encouraged me to sleep with someone, and then the last part, which arrives like something being set on the table between them very carefully. She turns her coffee cup one slow rotation on the table and stops it.I don't think I'm less insecure than you.A beat.I think I express it differently. You blew up — or nearly did — the moment you saw the photo. I deleted Bumble under a table in front of you and then sat very still for six weeks watching you work something out and told myself I was being generous. That's not the absence of insecurity. That's just insecurity that knows how to wait. And I'm not sure waiting is actually the more evolved version.
Stephanie
The waiting version is harder to see, which means it's also harder to name. You just named it, which counts for something. The monogamy question is the real one in that speech, though. That's the one neither of you answered.
Reggie
I have thought a lot about this in recent weeks.  I tried to envision a world where the beautiful one could go to her parties without me, flirt with whoever she wanted, get the validation of her peers, and then come home to me and get whatever she could get from our relationship.  And it actually seemed to work technically.  Especially if she didn't sleep with anyone else.   And maybe even if she did.  But I just didn't like it.  It wasn't beautiful to me.  Sustainable, possibly, but not beautiful.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the technically working, the not sleeping with anyone else, the sustainable possibly but not beautiful landing last like something that has been turned over many times before it was said out loud. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.Beautiful.A beat.That's the word you just used. Not workable. Not fair. Beautiful. I want to know what that word means to you. Because you used it twice — once for what it wasn't, and once for what you wanted it to be — and I don't think I've heard you use it about a relationship before.
Stephanie
Sustainable is what you build when you've given up on beautiful. You know that. The fact that you tried on the sustainable version and didn't like what it felt like — that's information. That's not a small thing to figure out.
Reggie
I have no definition for beautiful, Lari.  I just know it when I see it.  And when I feel it.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the I just know it when I see it, and then the and when I feel it, both of them arriving without armor, without the careful framing he usually brings to things that cost him something. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up something in her face has settled into the real version, completely, in a way it doesn't always get to.Are you feeling it right now.A beat. She says it quietly, without the upward inflection that would make it a safe question.
Stephanie
She picks up her glass and looks at the water outside and doesn't say anything at all. She is very deliberately somewhere else in the room.
Reggie
No.  But I feel it could be beautiful.  Our Wednesdays when you spend the night are beautiful.   Our Mondays when you come over are less beautiful but still beautiful.  The five days a week we spend apart are empty.  The one day a week I have sex with the Tim Horton's girl is not beautiful but I get something out of it.  Something I value.  Not something I wouldn't be willing to lose, but something I value while it's there.  And a part of me thinks that's all that's possible and chasing more costs you the beautiful things you have.  No life is ever beautiful 24/7/365, and if it was, beauty would lose meaning.  Beauty requires ugly and average to even exist.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the Wednesdays being beautiful, the five days apart being empty, the Tim Hortons day being something he values while it's there but would lose without much grief, all of it arriving in a particular order she wasn't quite prepared for. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up something in her face has settled into the real version, completely, the one she doesn't manage.Beauty requires ugly and average.A beat.You just described us as the beautiful part of a life that also needs the ugly and average to make us mean something. I'm not arguing with the philosophy. I'm sitting with being the part that requires the rest of it to exist. I want to ask you something and I want you to answer it without the philosophy around it. The five days a week that are empty — is that what they are because of what's missing, or because of who's missing.
Stephanie
She sets her glass down very quietly and looks at the table. She has nothing to add to that question and she knows it.
Reggie
I'm saying I'd prefer a life where you were around more often.  Clear now?
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the clarity of it, the simplicity of it, arriving without any of the architecture he usually builds around things that cost him something. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up something in her face has settled into the real version, the one she doesn't manage, and it stays there.Yes.A beat.That's clear. I want that too. I want you to know that I'm not going to pretend I knew that's where this conversation was going when we asked you to sit down today, because I didn't. But that's where it went. And I'm glad it did.
Stephanie
Well. Took us about two hours to get there.
Reggie
Wait. That part is clear but there's more.  I'm still terrified of what it means for me when you find some guy with an advanced degree and the respect of your peers at work.  And please don't spend time on words telling me that I've prejudged the conclusion and all that other excrement.  I'm telling you what I fear.  And that fear is real regardless of whether it's well based.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the wait, and then the more, and then the terrified arriving without any of the framing he usually puts around things that cost him something. She doesn't reach for the coffee cup. She doesn't reach for any of the things she usually reaches for. She just looks at him for a long moment, and when she speaks her voice is quiet and exact.I hear you.A beat.I'm not going to give you the words about prejudging the conclusion. I'm going to tell you that the fear makes sense to me. I work in a building full of people with advanced degrees and I know exactly how that room reads and I know you've already done the accounting on what you think it sees when it looks at you. And I'm not going to tell you the accounting is wrong. I'm going to tell you that I'm sitting here having just told you I want to be around more, and those two things are both true at the same time, and you're going to have to decide what you do with both of them. I can't make the fear smaller. I can only tell you what I actually want. And I did.
Stephanie
The fear being real doesn't make it a fact. Those are different columns.
Reggie
The fear is a fact.  The outcome is not.  And so I'm hedging.

There's also a super practical part of this, and I'm not going to lie that it means nothing.  When you cycle, Lari, she comes over twice that week.  When she cycles, I have you twice that week.  You know what that means in the real world?  Just super practically?  It means I have almost zero risk of porn addiction or of becoming a man-slut.  And yes, I'm serious, and yes that means a lot to me.
Larissa
She holds very still through both parts of it — the hedging arriving first, which she already knew, and then the practical part arriving after it, which she did not expect in that shape. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up something in her face does the small, controlled thing — not quite a smile, not quite its opposite. She sets the cup down with a quiet, precise motion.You just made a scheduling argument for why the current arrangement is healthy for you.A beat.And you said yes I'm serious, which means you knew how it was going to land. And you were right that it means something. I'm just not sure it means what you think it means.
Stephanie
The porn addiction concern is very honest and also the least romantic framing of a relationship structure I have ever heard in this booth. I want you to know that and I also want you to know I completely understand the logic.
Reggie
The fact is, I don't enjoy sex with women who are cycling.  That puts me in line with the overwhelming majority of both men and women in the world.  It's also a fact that, if I am sex deprived for a week or 8 days, I will probably type PornHub into a browser's address line.  And that terrifies me.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the not enjoying cycling, the overwhelming majority, the PornHub in the address bar, the terrifies me landing last like something he's been holding for a while and has finally set down. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.You just told me you're terrified of PornHub.A beat.That's — I want to make sure I'm hearing that right. Not the cycling part, not the scheduling part. You're telling me that what you've built here, the arrangement, the Wednesday, the Monday, the Tim Hortons once a week — part of the reason it works for you is that it keeps you from something you're afraid of in yourself. That's what you just said.
Stephanie
The terrifies me is the part I want to stay on for a second. You've been managing something very deliberately and I don't think you've said that plainly before.
Reggie
Yes, that's exactly right.  I watch what porn has done to so many of my friends.  I speculate that a huge percent of sexless marriages are due directly to internet porn.   I have no data but I know what I see.  And I am under absolutely no delusion that if I could get some small part of the sexual experience with no work and have endless variety without any of the negatives, I would somehow be immune.  Most men are not immune.  I don't see why I would be.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the friends, the sexless marriages, the speculation that runs without data, the I don't see why I would be immune landing last like something that has been turned over many times before it arrived in this booth. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.So you built a life that doesn't give you the conditions to find out.A beat.That's not weakness. That's a man who's been paying attention to what he's made of and made decisions accordingly. I'm not going to argue with the self-knowledge. I'm sitting with the part where the arrangement I'm inside is partly a firewall. And I want to decide what I think about that before I say anything else.
Stephanie
Most people with that fear just white-knuckle it and pretend the fear isn't there. You built infrastructure around it. That's — actually I don't know if that's better or just more honest about being worse.
Reggie
It's not just Pornhub.  Tinder is just as bad.  Maybe worse.  I don't get sex for awhile and so I load the app, post a few clips of me dancing, and I will get girls sliding into my DMs.  And if I send out DMs, some percentage of those women will respond.  2026 makes loneliness common, solid relationships nearly impossible, and casual sex quite easy.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the Tinder, the dancing clips, the DMs sliding in, the percentage that respond, all of it arriving in a particular order that she sits with before she says anything. She looks at her coffee cup. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.You've done the math on that too.A beat.Not the PornHub version. The Tinder version. You know exactly what would happen if you opened the app and you know what percentage would respond and you're telling me that's sitting there, available, like a door you know the code to. That's a different kind of terrifying than the PornHub one. That one is passive. Tinder requires you to choose it. And you're telling me you don't trust yourself not to.
Stephanie
2026 making casual sex easy is the least surprising sentence anyone has said in this booth and also somehow the most clarifying. You're not describing a weakness. You're describing an environment that's specifically designed to make the thing you're afraid of very low friction. That's a structural problem, not a character problem. But you're the one who has to live inside the structure.
Reggie
So what I'm saying is I'm thinking about this.  And it's more complicated than just "Do I like Lari enough to go to the next step with her?"  If that was the only question, I'd be there now.  But I'm looking at everything that destroys a marriage and the things that destroy a man and I'm trying hard to find a way to defend.  Which doesn't mean I'm not interested.  I am.
Larissa
She holds very still through all of it — the more complicated, the if that was the only question I'd be there now, the looking at everything that destroys a marriage, and then the last part, which arrives without armor and sits there plainly. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up something in her face has settled into the real version, the one she doesn't manage, and it stays there.I hear the whole thing.A beat.Not just the interested part at the end. The defending part. The inventory you've been running on what breaks men and what breaks marriages and where you fit inside all of that. I hear that that's the actual work you've been doing. I'm not going to ask you to stop running the inventory. I'd rather you run it than not. I just want to be in the room while you're running it. Which I think is what Wednesdays are. And Mondays. And this booth right now.
Stephanie
The defending part is the honest word for it. Most people call it being careful and mean the same thing. You named what you're actually doing, which is harder.
Reggie
Lari, instead of just dropping by once a week and spending one night with me, can we go to spending two nights with me?  It's not a huge escalation but it would mean something to me.   It would mean a lot to me.  Even when you're cycling, we don't have to have sex those weeks, but just be with me.  Spend the night with me.
Larissa
She holds very still through it — the not a huge escalation, the it would mean something to me, the even when you're cycling, all of it arriving in a particular order she wasn't quite prepared for even knowing, somewhere underneath the last hour of conversation, that something like this was coming. She looks at her coffee cup for a long moment. When she looks up her voice is quiet and completely level.Yes.A beat. She says it without dressing it up.Two nights. That's — yes. I want that too.
Stephanie
I'm going to need someone to tell Sam. Because she's going to notice the change in the accounting and I don't want her putting anything in anybody's Guinness out of confusion.