Reggie
Hey Ashley. Hey Erin. I wasn't expecting both of you.
Ashley
She wraps both hands around her drink and gives him a smile that doesn't quite land the way her smiles usually do.Yeah. I asked her to come.A beat, then she lifts her chin toward the chair across from them.Sit down.
Erin
Hey, Reggie.
Reggie
Aren't you afraid your boyfriends will see you with me?
Ashley
She turns her drink a half-rotation on the table, not looking up immediately.Bradley thinks I'm at the library.She says it flatly, no apology in it, and then she does look up.Which is right across the plaza, so.
Erin
Rory doesn't come to Dominion.
Reggie
And if they walked in right now? What lies have you prepared?
Ashley
She meets his eyes, steady.That Bradley called and you happened to walk in, and I couldn't exactly be rude.A small, flat shrug.I've said worse and had him believe it.
Erin
Rory trusts me completely.Said without guilt, and without pride either — just the fact of it, hanging there.
Reggie
Looks at ErinThat must be nice. I don't trust you at all.LaughsAnd you, Ashley, does Bradly trust you completely?
Ashley
She lets out a short laugh — not the bright kind, the kind that comes out before you can stop it.Yeah. He does.She picks up her drink, takes a small sip, sets it back down with a little more care than it needs.Completely.
Erin
That's a lot to carry around, Reggie. Keeping track of who you trust.
Reggie
It's not a lot at all. None of us trust anyone. They both trust you two. Silly men.Laughs
Erin
She tips her head, studying him with the kind of look that's more dissection than appraisal.You find that funny.
Ashley
She's watching Reggie the way you watch someone who just said a quiet thing out loud — like she's deciding whether she's offended or whether he's right.Bradley's not silly.
Reggie
Yes, Erin, I find it funny, and before you perform outrage, remember that you two are the ones that made it funny. Nobody forced you to cheat.
Erin
She holds his gaze for a moment, something moving behind her eyes that isn't quite argument.No. Nobody did.It comes out quieter than she intended, and she picks up her drink to have something to do with her hand.
Ashley
That's fair.
Reggie
They are sitting at the bar. The bartender asks what they'd like.I don't usually drink this early. Are you two drinking or should I get a coke zero?
Ashley
She glances down at her drink — something with ice in it, almost empty — and then back up at the bartender, a little caught.I'll have another one of these.She tips the glass slightly toward him so he can see what it was, then looks at Reggie with something that might be a dare in it.You should drink.
Erin
Vodka soda. Tall.
Reggie
Guinness, please.Turns back to the girlsI should drink. I have a feeling this is going to be intense.
Ashley
She watches him say it — the word intense landing somewhere she wasn't ready for — and something shifts in her expression, a little of the armour coming off.Yeah.Quiet, and she doesn't look away.You probably should.
Erin
What gave it away?
Reggie
The fact that you're here, unannounced, and the fact that Ashley told me I should drink. Can we get to what's on your minds?
Ashley
She exhales through her nose — almost a laugh, not quite — and straightens in her chair like someone finding her footing before a jump.Okay.Her hands come off the glass. She sets them flat on the table, and she looks at him directly.I'm done, Reggie. That's what's on my mind. I'm done with this. With us doing this.
Reggie
Oh. Is that all? Okay. You could've just done that by text. Why this?
Ashley
The question hits somewhere between her ribs and she almost laughs — not because it's funny but because it's exactly what she should have expected. Her hands are still flat on the table. She doesn't move them.Because I didn't want to.She holds his gaze.Because I wanted to say it to your face and I wanted it to — to mean something. To actually stick this time.
Reggie
Ashley, you've broken up with me what, five times? And then you text in a few days saying Bradley doesn't satisfy you and can we talk, which we both know means, "Can I come over and get an orgasm, please?"
Ashley
The air goes out of her — not dramatically, just quietly, like a slow leak. Her hands stay flat on the table. Her jaw tightens for a second and then it doesn't, because he's right and she knows he's right and the worst part is that he said it the same way you'd read back a grocery list.That's not —She stops. Starts again, lower.That's not all it is.
Erin
Give her a second.
Reggie
It's exactly all it is. But you know what? We're here. I just ordered a Guinness. Let's talk about it.
Ashley
The words land like a hand pressed flat against her sternum. She looks at him for a moment — just a moment — and then something in her face goes from wounded to tired to something more honest than either.Yeah.She picks up her drink, the new one the bartender just set down, and takes a long sip. When she puts it back she's looking at the table, not him.Okay. Let's talk about it.
Erin
Big of you.
Reggie
How often do you and Bradley have sex, Ashley?
Ashley
She looks up — not slowly, sharply, like she wasn't expecting the conversation to go that direction quite yet. A short silence while she decides whether to be offended or just honest, and then she decides.Often enough.She wraps her hands around her glass.That's not — that's not what this is about.
Erin
She says nothing, just watches Ashley.
Reggie
No, you wanted to have a discussion. I'm discussing. How often?
Ashley
The pause that follows is just long enough to be its own answer. She turns her glass a slow quarter-turn, not looking at either of them.Once a month. Maybe.Said so quietly it barely clears the table noise, and she still doesn't look up.
Reggie
And how about you, Erin? How often does Rory perform his boyfriend duties?
Erin
She picks up her vodka soda, turns it once, sets it back. Her eyes move to the table for just a moment — the same gesture Ashley just made, without either of them noticing.About that.A beat.Give or take.
Reggie
Then why are we even fucking talking about this? Can't we just skip to the makeup sex? You can come, too, Erin. I've always wanted you both together.
Ashley
The laugh that comes out of her is involuntary and she hates it immediately — a short, startled thing she cuts off by pressing her lips together. Her hands tighten around her glass. She looks at Erin, then back at Reggie, and her expression does three things at once: offended, amused, and something else she's working very hard to keep off her face.That is —She stops. Tries again, quieter.You can't just say that.
Erin
Ashley had a whole speech, Reggie.
Reggie
The Guinness arrives, and the girls' drinksOkay, look, we have to kill a bit of time now that these are here. Ashley, tell us what sex with blondie boy looks like.
Ashley
She stares at him for a second, and then the laugh escapes again — she can't stop it this time — and she covers her mouth with the back of her hand and looks at Erin like can you believe this. When she puts her hand down she's still almost smiling and she hates that too.Bradley is —She picks up her new drink, takes a sip, buying herself a half-second.He's attentive.
Erin
Attentive.
Reggie
You're full of shit. Unless you've redefined attentive as timid.
Ashley
The smile drops — not all the way, just enough. She sets her drink down and for a second she just looks at the table, and then she looks up at him with something in her expression that is caught and honest and a little bit angry.He tries really hard.She says it like it's a defence, and they can all hear that it isn't.
Erin
Trying hard isn't the same thing.
Reggie
Okay, let's start with this. How does sex start? How do you know you're going to get some tonight? My guess he's so nervous about it he starts mentioning it the day before, and then at noon, and then five more times during the day, and by 5 pm you're thinking, "Fuck, just fuck me already, quit warning me you're going to." How close am I?
Ashley
The sound she makes is almost a laugh and almost something worse — caught somewhere between the two, and she puts her hand over her eyes for a second like she can hide in it. When she takes it away she's looking at the table.Oh my god.Barely audible. Then she looks up at Reggie, and her expression is the most honest it's been since he sat down — mortified, and absolutely not denying it.He texts me at like two in the afternoon. A little emoji. Like a — You know the one.
Erin
Rory makes a playlist.
Reggie
Okay, so you've been warned 20 times, today is the day, and they drop stupid little hints, giving you 200 chances to back out, which they'll graciously allow if you take them. Then the evening's activities are over, you're back at his place. What does he do?
Ashley
She drags her thumbnail slowly around the base of her glass, and the silence before she answers is the kind that confirms everything before she opens her mouth.He lights a candle.She says it completely flat.Like. A single candle, on the nightstand, and he looks at it for a second like he's proud of himself for remembering.
Erin
Rory puts on a movie first. So there's something else to blame if it doesn't — Go anywhere.
Reggie
A candle. How romantic! And a movie? Seriously? Like a porno or a normal movie?
Erin
She makes a face that is caught between dignity and helplessness.A normal movie.A pause.He picks it.
Ashley
He picked The Notebook once. And then he kept — he kept checking to see if I was emotional. Like that was the goal.
Reggie
Wait, he wants you to fuck to the Notebook? Seriously? How are you supposed to watch a movie and get fucked at the same time? And which are you supposed to pay attention to?
Ashley
She puts both hands flat over her face this time, a short groan escaping through them, and when she surfaces her cheeks are pink.He wasn't — he wasn't trying to watch it at the same time, he just —She stops, because explaining it only makes it worse and she knows it.He thought it would put me in the mood. It did not.
Erin
Rory paused his movie. Made sure it got to a good stopping point first.
Reggie
Okay, and then he reached for you or he waits for you to reach for him?
Ashley
The pink in her cheeks deepens slightly. She picks up her drink, takes a sip that lasts just a beat too long, and puts it back with the careful precision of someone composing herself.He waits.Flat as a board.He always waits. Like he's — Like he needs permission, but he won't ask for it, he just looks at you until you feel guilty enough to make the first move, and then somehow he still acts like he initiated.
Erin
Rory too.
Reggie
I love these white guys. They make me look so bad. But the entertainment is worth it. Okay, so you reach for him? And do what? Do you pull his pants down and get on your knees or do you kiss for a long time first?
Ashley
She picks up her drink and takes a long pull, and when she puts it down she's looking at the far wall, not at either of them, and her cheeks are properly pink now.Kiss.She says it like the word costs something.A long time. A really long time. Like — Like so long that you start doing the math on whether something is actually going to happen or whether this is just — this. Just this.
Erin
Same. Down to the math.
Reggie
Okay and then who escalates? Who starts getting the clothes off?
Erin
Nobody.She says it before Ashley has to.That's the thing. It's just — the kissing continues and you think surely we're moving on now, and then it continues some more, and at some point you realize you're going to have to be the one or the kissing is literally where it ends.She picks up her vodka soda, takes a precise sip.So you start on the buttons or whatever, and he acts surprised. Every time.
Ashley
Surprised. Like he didn't see it coming. Like the candle wasn't right there. I always do the buttons.
Reggie
Oh god. Okay, I can't take much more of this. Now you're naked and still kissing. Who escalates from there? My guess is it's the girls.
Ashley
She opens her mouth immediately and then closes it. Opens it again. Her whole face has gone from pink to something warmer and she looks sideways at Erin with an expression that says please do not make me be the one to answer this first....Yes.A beat.Obviously yes.
Erin
He gets there eventually. If you do enough of the work for him.
Reggie
So you start sucking his thing, which is probably huge because he's a tall white guy. And then he's hard? So what then? Does he go down on you?
Ashley
She makes a sound that is not quite a laugh — somewhere between amused and pained — and stares at the middle of the table for a second before she finds the nerve to actually answer.He's — yes.She says it very quietly, like admitting it in a smaller voice makes it less ridiculous.Which doesn't — it doesn't help if he doesn't know what to do with it, and Bradley very much — He goes down for like ninety seconds and then he looks up like he's done something. Like he's completed a task.
Erin
Rory sets a timer in his head. You can feel it. You're just starting to — get somewhere, and then he's done. Very pleased with himself. Moves right along.
Reggie
Rory's timer...twenty minutes? Ten? Five?
Erin
She looks up from her drink with an expression caught between amusement and something more honest.Ninety seconds.A beat.On a good day.
Ashley
I timed Bradley once. I didn't mean to. I just — I was watching the ceiling and I counted. A minute forty.
Reggie
Laughs gleefully but quietly.I truly love these guys. God I wish I was white. Okay and then they get around to fucking, I'm guessing. But you're not...ready. No girl is wet after 90 seconds. So what gives?
Ashley
She looks down at her glass, and the silence before she speaks is the kind that is its own confession. Her thumbnail traces the rim once, slowly.You just —She stops. Starts over, quieter.You tell yourself you're close enough. You just — you proceed. And it's fine. It's fine, and you're thinking about other things, and eventually it's over and he's — he's so happy. He's so genuinely proud of himself that you almost feel bad about the fact that you feel nothing.
Erin
You find somewhere else to be in your head. It's not that it hurts. It's that it's nothing. And he can't tell the difference.
Reggie
And you both skipped my favourite part. You then tell him it was amazing, and you came so hard. Both of you. Don't you?
Ashley
She doesn't answer right away. She picks up her drink and takes a slow, careful sip, and when she sets it down she's looking at the table with the expression of someone who has been caught doing something she can't defend and has decided not to try.Every time.Very quiet.I tell him he's — yeah. Every time.
Erin
He asks. He actually asks, after. So that makes it worse somehow. And you still say yes.
Reggie
God I love this. I'm so glad you called to dump me today. This is my favourite being-dumped event ever.
Ashley
The laugh she's been fighting for the last five minutes finally wins. It comes out short and bright and she covers her mouth with her hand, but it doesn't help, and for a second she just — laughs, and hates herself for it, and looks at Erin like this is your fault for coming.Oh my god.She drops her hand.You're unbelievable.
Erin
Noted. Worst breakup ever, apparently.
Reggie
Erin, how many times have you thought of picking up the phone and texting me after your monthly sex?
Erin
The laugh that was still on her face from Ashley's goes quiet. She picks up her vodka soda, turns it once, and doesn't drink. When she looks at him her expression is level — not offended, not playful, just honest in the way that's harder to wear than either.More than once.She says it simply, and sets the glass back down.
Reggie
Okay. So I'm dumped. And I've actually stayed dumped by Erin for eight months, which is impressive given her account today. And I'm dumped by you, Ashley. And I've heard what it's like from your side today. Do you want to hear what it's like from my side?
Ashley
She goes still — not closed off, just arrested, like she wasn't expecting that pivot and now she's very aware of her drink and her hands and the two inches of space between her glass and the table's edge.Yeah.She looks up at him, and the word is quieter than she meant it to be.I do.
Erin
Go ahead.
Reggie
Okay, let's start with the sex. I've told you both this. I will always stop if you say no. I believe in consent at a level that most men don't even think of. I have no interest in taking anything you're not giving to me freely and willingly and enthusiastically. But I'm not interested in discussing it. The word no is an emergency stop. Neither of you have ever used it. And until I hear it, I'm taking what I want, and both of you have what I want. I have more to say but I'll let you comment here if you choose.
Ashley
She's very still for a moment — hands around her glass, eyes on him, something working behind her expression that she's not trying to hide.I know.She says it low, not like a concession, like a fact she's been carrying around.You never — you were never — You always made sure.
Erin
Neither of us has ever said no to you. That's its own answer, isn't it.
Reggie
No, Ashley, I'm telling you I never make sure. I take what I want. Period. And if what I want is to flip you over and stick it in your ass, that's what I'm going to do. As you know. But all you have to do is utter the word "no" and I'll stop. And you didn't. Even though you knew it was going to hurt and looked like a scared deer, you didn't say no.
Ashley
The word lands and she doesn't move — doesn't flinch, doesn't look away, doesn't reach for her drink. Her hands stay around the glass and she holds his gaze and something in her face goes very quiet, the way a room goes quiet after a door closes.I know you don't make sure.She says it barely above the noise of the bar, even and careful, and the pink in her cheeks has nothing to do with embarrassment this time.That's — that's the part I can't explain to anyone. That I knew, and I just — I didn't say it.
Erin
Yeah.
Reggie
So here we sit, a group of three totally innocent friends who have tasted each other's assholes. Now let's get to the next step. I have many speeds in sex. Lots of gears in the transmission. But one thing I always try to do at least every other time is to give my girl an intense, body-shuddering orgasm. Two, sometimes. Three if I can. And both of you have timed me too between your legs and you know that thirty minutes or more per orgasm is totally normal for me. And over an hour total is nothing to even raise an eyebrow at. And I don't have to worry if you're wet enough for sex because you just gushed all over my face like a fucking firehose.
Ashley
The sound that comes out of her is not a laugh and not a breath — somewhere in between, and she looks down at her glass for just a second, and when she looks back up her eyes are bright and her cheeks are pink and she is absolutely not looking at Erin.I remember.She says it in a voice that is barely there, and then she picks up her drink and takes a long, deliberate sip and puts it back down with great care.I remember every single time.
Erin
You make a very strong case against being dumped, Reggie.
Reggie
And then I'll fuck you, yes, but even then, before I come, I'm going to reach around and try to give you that third orgasm. And yes, sometimes I fail, but sometimes I succeed, and when I do, you're going to walk funny for a few hours, and not think straight until morning.
Ashley
She doesn't move for a moment. Just sits there with both hands around her glass and her eyes on him and something in her expression that has given up pretending entirely. When she finally exhales it comes out unsteady, and she looks down, and then back up, and her voice when it comes is very quiet.I did walk funny.A beat.You know I did.
Erin
I didn't think straight until Tuesday.
Reggie
And despite all of that, neither of you want me for your boyfriend. I know that. I get it. The white boys look better in your Instagram posts. You don't need to explain it. I'm at peace with it. But I want to tell you how I deal with it.
Ashley
She sits back slightly in her chair, like his words need a little more room than she expected. Her drink stays on the table, untouched.That's —She stops, something moving through her face that isn't quite protest and isn't quite agreement, and she lets it pass.Okay. Tell us.
Erin
Yeah. Tell us.
Reggie
Well, for starters, I accept it. I am not really ready to settle down anyway, and I enjoy female attention. But I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't grate on me that the white boy is going to have every advantage in life. His parents are richer. He's going to be accepted into the best universities. He's going to advance in his career faster than I will. He's going to make more money than I do. But then I say to myself, the white boy may win the war, but he's not going to win every battle. And I'm going to take the one thing he loves most, his woman's desire. And I'm going to do it in a way that nobody can rationally complain about. I'll never approach them. I'll never seduce her. I'll never even really flirt with her. I'll look at her the way I've looked at both of you, and you'll instantly know that I'd like to fuck you, but nothing about the look or my behaviour would be out of place in church. Totally appropriate. Then I'll try to make sure you see some of my dance videos somehow. Just post a new one on IG to a song I heard you listening to or whatever. And then count on his own ineptitude in bed to do the work for me, and it usually does. Just sit back and wait for his beautiful girl, the one he loves more than anything, the one thing in the world that makes his face light up, to text me, "Hey, saw your video. Really cool. I'd love to grab coffee sometime if you're free." And know that in a few days or weeks, I'll be making her scream like he never has and never will. And yes, I may be a cunt, but I usually get what I want.
Ashley
She doesn't move for a long moment. Just sits there with both hands flat on the table, not around her glass, and she looks at him the way you look at something after it finally explains itself — like the pieces were always there and you just now understand the shape of them.So we were the plan.She says it carefully, not accusing, almost wondering.The whole time. We weren't — we were the plan.
Erin
That's the most calculated thing I've ever heard. And I fell for every single step of it.
Reggie
You didn't fall for anything and you weren't a plan. You're what I want. Deep inside my soul, I want both of you. And I don't want you because I hate your boyfriends for being prettier than I am. I just enjoy that part of it along the way.
Erin
She's very still for a moment, her vodka soda forgotten in front of her. Something shifts behind her eyes — not softened, exactly, but recalibrated, the way you adjust when you realize you've been looking at a thing sideways.That's a worse thing to admit than what you said before.Her voice is quiet, and she means it.
Ashley
I don't know what to do with that.
Reggie
Look, let's be clear about the motivation. There is no greater joy in my life than bringing a beautiful, healthy girl to orgasm. Both of you know that first hand. Honestly, your orgasms are more important to me than my own, and I love my own. And there is nothing at all about either of you that disgusts me. I've licked your sweaty armpits. I've licked your assholes. I admire all of you, not just the curated parts. But yes, I'm resentful of being marginalized in this world, and while I've done fine, I'll never do as well as either of your boyfriends, and if you don't think I enjoy being the guy their girls think of while they fumble around at sex, you're dead wrong.
Ashley
She holds very still for a long moment — not frozen, just very deliberate, like she's picking something up carefully so it doesn't break.The armpit thing.Her voice is almost nothing.I thought I was going to die of embarrassment and you just — Nobody has ever — not even close. I don't know what to do with that either. Any of it.
Erin
You mean every word of that. That's the thing about you that's impossible to — Rory has never once looked at me like I'm the whole thing.
Reggie
And, I have never said an inappropriate word to either of you. Sure, I'm being explicit now but I've had sex with both of you many times which changes things. But before that, I never propositioned either of you. Never even remotely hinted that I was interested in you sexually. I just made myself present, and waited for you to ask me to fuck you, which both of you kindly did.
Ashley
She exhales through her nose — not a laugh, just air leaving her body — and looks down at her hands on the table. A long beat. When she looks up her expression is somewhere between undone and confessional.That's true.Very quiet.You never — there was nothing you did that I could've pointed to. I came to you. Both times, the first time and every time after. I knew what I was doing and I walked in anyway. And I told myself it was my idea. Because it was.
Erin
Same. You never pushed. Not even a little. That's the part I never admit. That there was no — there was no moment where I could say you pushed me into anything. It was just me. Walking across a plaza and knocking on your door.
Reggie
And now, you'll still choose your white boys. You'll marry them, or some other pretty white boy, and you'll buy houses far away from the darkies and make beautiful white children and I don't begrudge you any part of that. Not because I'm noble. Because I have the one part of you I really want, and that your husbands really want, which is that part of your mind that, when you rub one out on the bathroom floor because your husband will never, ever bring you to orgasm, you think of me. And if your husbands knew that, it would break them. And yes, I enjoy that.
Ashley
She doesn't look away from him. Doesn't reach for her drink. Her hands are still flat on the table and her face does something slow and complicated — not wounded, not angry, just open in a way that she will probably regret later. When she finally speaks her voice is almost nothing, and it comes out even.You're right.A beat, and then she does look down, just for a second.I hate that you're right. I hate that I know exactly — that I already know you're right and I haven't even been home yet.
Erin
That's the cruelest version of winning I've ever heard of. And you'll take it.
Reggie
And I will go home knowing that, even if you never call me again, even if you develop bigger spines than you've shown and you can resist what Reggie has on offer forever, I'll always live in your minds as the only guy you truly lusted after. The only guy who wasn't a value proposition. The only guy who makes your face light up when he walks in the room. Even when you're driving the Porsche he bought you on your second anniversary. And you'll think about texting me that day. And I don't plan to change my number. Ever.
Ashley
She holds his gaze for a long time — longer than she means to. Long enough that she can hear the TVs and the low bar noise and a chair scraping two tables over, and none of it matters. Her hands are still flat on the table. She doesn't move them.You won't change it. So you'll always be just one text away.She says it so quietly it barely exists, and then she looks down at her hands, and then back up, and her expression is the most unguarded it has been all afternoon — not sad, not angry, just the plain truth of a person who has run out of ways to argue with something she already knew.That's the worst part of today. That I came here to end it and I'm sitting here knowing you're right about the anniversary and the Porsche and all of it. I already know.
Erin
I came here today to say goodbye. That's not going so well.She says it simply, and picks up her vodka soda, and drinks.
Reggie
So I can't have either of you permanently. You both love the trappings of wealth too much. You want the big house I can't buy you, the cars I can't dream of, and the trips I can't afford to take. But I can have a good life. A beautiful life. A condo in the best building in Surrey. A good small business that will let me retire at 40 if I want. And confidence that there's a very good chance both of you will call me a few times a year to scratch an itch that nobody else can scratch. And then you'll go home and stalk my Instagram for a couple of months until next time. Not every night. But at least once a week.
Ashley
She holds very still. Something in her chest does a thing she wasn't expecting — not a protest, just a slow, quiet recognition settling like sediment. She looks at her drink, then at him, and her voice when it comes is measured and a little raw.A beautiful life.A small exhale.You actually mean that. You're not performing — you actually mean it, and you're fine. You're genuinely fine. I don't know if that makes it better or worse.
Erin
You just described being completely happy. With — this. With exactly this table, and us going home, and the Instagram thing. Happy. That's actually insane, Reggie.
Reggie
Oh don't get me wrong. I'll find a wife. I'm not happy with ONLY this. But yes, this makes me happy and my wife will just have to put up with it or divorce me because I'm not giving it up. I'll even tell her before she marries me. There are a couple of rich, beautiful Surrey girls out there sitting on the bathroom floor with their legs spread wide and my Instagram open, and I'm going to fuck them hard the next time they text, which shouldn't be too long. And that will make my life just a little more beautiful.
Ashley
She stares at him for a long moment, and then something in her expression does a very slow, very quiet thing — not collapse, not surrender, just a kind of settling, like a picture frame finding level after years of being crooked.You're going to tell her.She says it like she's still processing it, still turning it over.Before. You're actually going to tell her before, and she's going to say yes anyway, and you know that too. God, Reggie.
Erin
The wife's going to know about us. She'll know and she'll marry you anyway. And you'll be right about that too, won't you.
Reggie
And you know what else? I'm never going to leave Surrey. And neither are you two. You'll travel. You may move. But your families are here. You have roots here. You'll be back to visit even if you move, and I doubt you'll move. And I want you to know, I'm playing long game. When you're 50 and your pubes turn grey and you're crying about it and Bradley and Rory or whatever white boys you've married ask you what's wrong, you'll lie, as you always do to them about anything sexual, and then you'll text me. And I'll be 60 and you'll come over and I'll pull down your pants and tell you you're more beautiful than ever, which you'll believe because I'll actually mean it, and I'll suck on your grey pubes until you come harder than any 50 year old has any right to, and then I'll flip you over and do it again, and you'll go home thinking being 50 isn't so bad. It's nice, even.
Ashley
The sound that comes out of her is involuntary and small and she puts both hands over her face, and stays there for a moment — just a moment — and when she brings them down her eyes are bright and her expression is something that has completely given up being guarded.Grey pubes.She says it in a voice barely above nothing, and then she looks at Erin, and looks back at him, and something in her face is helpless and honest and almost — almost — like gratitude, which is the part she can't explain.You're going to be doing this when you're sixty. You're going to mean every word of it at sixty. I know you are.
Erin
I believe you. That's the thing that's going to keep me up tonight. Not the rest of it. That part. That you'll mean it at sixty and you already know it and so do I.
Reggie
Not just grey pubes. YOUR grey pubes. YOUR grey hair. YOUR wrinkles. I'm going to love every single one of your flaws until you die. And you're going to beg me to. And I'm not going to be faking it. I'm not going to be performing it like your white boys performing 90 second oral. I'm going to be living it. You're both going to be beautiful old ladies. And if you don't think I'll stick it in your asses when you're 60, well, never mind, you already know.
Ashley
She doesn't move for a long time. Both hands flat on the table, eyes on him, and something in her face goes through four or five things in quick succession and settles on none of them — just stays open, undefended, a little wrecked.My grey hair.She says it barely above the bar noise, like she's testing the weight of it. A beat.You said mine. Not — not some hypothetical woman. Mine. I came here today to end this. I had a whole — I had a thing. A whole thing I was going to say. And I'm sitting here and I can't — I cannot find one part of it that still makes sense.
Erin
I should have stayed home today. I didn't, though.
Reggie
It wouldn't have helped. You'll text me soon, Erin. At least I hope you will. And if not, you'll rub one out to my IG which is almost as good.
Erin
Something in her face shifts — not hurt, not even surprised, just very still for a moment, the way a person goes still when they hear the truth said plainly in a public place.Yeah.She picks up her vodka soda and finishes what's left of it, sets the glass down with a soft click.Probably.
Ashley
I came here to end it. I came here with Erin so I'd have someone to hold me to it. I didn't even make it to the end of my drink.
Reggie
Last thing: I resent your white boys. And I'm jealous of them. I even hate them a bit but I know that's not healthy so I keep it under control. But I'll never fuck it up for you. I'll never destroy your marriages. I'll lie for you if you need me to in order to keep them. Because I need them. If I'm going to suck on your grey pubes at 60, I need you to make it to 60, healthy, happy, and in Surrey. So the white boys are serving a useful function for me. And I'll help you defend that if you need me to.
Ashley
She sits with that for a long moment — longer than she means to — and something moves through her face that is not hurt and not relief and not anything she has a clean word for. Her hands are still flat on the table. She looks at him, then down at them, then back up.You're going to protect them.She says it quietly, almost to herself, like she's still translating it.So you can get to sixty. You're protecting them so you can protect this. That's the most romantic thing you've said all afternoon, and it's about my husband who doesn't exist yet, and I don't even know what to do with that.
Erin
You've thought about all of it. Every part. The pubes and the lying and keeping us intact until sixty. You already know we're not walking out of here having ended anything, don't you.
Reggie
This won't be the last time you pretend to end it, but now you know where my mind is. And now you two will go back to your boyfriends and lie to them, and then lie to your future husbands, and you'll enter your marriages knowing you're probably going to fuck me before and after your honeymoons. And I'll say yes. And I'll make sure my wife won't blow it up.
Ashley
She holds his gaze for a long, unguarded moment, and then she looks down at her hands on the table — those same hands that have been there all afternoon, flat and still and honest — and when she looks back up something in her expression is quietly, irrevocably done arguing.Before and after.She says it in a voice barely there, almost wondering at herself for not flinching.I knew that before I walked in. I think I came here today to hear you say it out loud so I wouldn't have to keep knowing it alone.
Erin
We're both going to text you this week, aren't we.
Reggie
I hope so. My face will light up if you do.
Ashley
She looks down at her hands on the table one more time — those flat, honest hands — and then she picks up her drink, what's left of it, and holds it without drinking.Before and after the honeymoon.She says it very quietly, not to him, not to Erin, just to the table, like she's filing it somewhere she'll find it later.God.
Erin
Yeah. You will. So will mine.