Brenna texts Reggie.
Brenna (texting)
Hey, I'm really sorry about yesterday. Can we reschedule?
Reggie (texting)
It's fine. Have a great night.
Brenna (texting)
She reads it twice. Not one word about when.Wait, are you serious? You're not even going to suggest a new day?
Reggie (texting)
Let's see how we feel in a few days.
Brenna (texting)
Like she's weather he's waiting out.Oh, that's cute. You're punishing me. I stood you up once, Reggie. Once. I apologized. That's how adults handle things.
Reggie (texting)
Agreed. It's handled. Have a great night.
Brenna (texting)
She sets the phone face-down on the counter and picks it straight back up.So that's it? I apologize and you fold the whole thing up and send me home? You kissed me twice, Reggie. Twice. And now I get 'have a great night' like a Yelp review you've already written.
Reggie (texting)
Do you want me to wish you a bad night?
Brenna (texting)
You know what, that's actually funny.Sent before she could think better of it.Don't be charming right now. I don't want to reschedule in a few days. I want to reschedule now. Thursday.
Reggie (texting)
Why didn't you call or text?
Brenna (texting)
Her jaw tightens.Because I forgot.Then, immediately:It happens, Reggie. I'm not a secretary.
Reggie doesn't answer. She waits a few minutes and tries again.
Brenna (texting)
One minute. Two. The phone just sits there being a phone. She types and deletes twice.Okay, I deserved that. But ghosting me isn't better than what I did.
Reggie (texting)
I'm not ghosting you at all. Ghosting means I don't reply to you. I've replied many times. I haven't blocked you anywhere. I'm just not going to reschedule.
Brenna (texting)
She reads it.So you're just done. Just like that.
Reggie (texting)
I suggested I'd think about rescheduling in a few days if you're still interested. But I'm also open to this just being done. Whatever works.
Brenna (texting)
Like she's a parking spot.I'm still interested. That's why I texted. Don't make me say it twice.
Reggie (texting)
Ok. Let's chat on the weekend.
Brenna (texting)
Two days, minimum, like a meeting he's fitting in.Fine. Saturday.
Saturday comes. The texts continue.
Brenna (texting)
She picks the phone up, puts it down, picks it up. Sends something that doesn't look like what it cost her.So. It's Saturday.
Reggie (texting)
Yes. I hope you're having a nice weekend.
Brenna (texting)
I hope you're having a nice weekend. Like she's his dentist.That's it? That's your whole Saturday?
Reggie (texting)
That isn't my whole anything. I just said I hoped you're having a nice weekend.
Brenna (texting)
She puts the phone flat on the counter and stands there with her hand on it. She's been waiting since Wednesday.Fine. Are we rescheduling or not.
Reggie (texting)
No, but I'm open to getting coffee if you like.
Brenna (texting)
I don't do coffee dates, Reggie. You've had two real dates with me. You know the difference.
Reggie (texting)
Okay, no problem. Have a great weekend.
Brenna (texting)
She sets the phone down face-up, stares at it, snatches it back.Oh, you absolute— Don't do that. You know exactly what you're doing right now.
Reggie (texting)
I'm wishing you a good weekend. I'm probably going to jump the train somewhere and won't be reachable by text. Bye for now.
Brenna (texting)
He's already gone, or acting like it, which is worse.Okay, stop. Can we just talk? Like actual people. Not whatever this is.
Reggie (texting)
Sure, should I call?
Brenna (texting)
Like it's a scheduling question.Yes.Sent before she can make it longer.
And now they're on the phone the old fashioned way. A voice call.
Reggie
I call. She picks up instantly.Hey.
Brenna
She picked up on the first ring and she's not going to acknowledge it.Hey.A pause just long enough to pretend she had to come to the phone.So.
Reggie
Did you know the new bike lane to New West on the new bridge is opening next month? I just read that.
Brenna
She pulls the phone an inch from her ear and stares at it.You called me to talk about a bike lane, Reggie.
Reggie
No, I called because you asked me to call, and since you didn't say anything, I tried to make conversation. It's polite.
Brenna
The comeback was loaded.Well. That's a very you thing to say.
Reggie
What do you want to talk about, Brenna?
Brenna
He's handed her the whole conversation to carry, after three days.You know what I want to talk about. I want to know if you're actually done with me or just making me work for it. I stood you up once, Reggie. I said I was sorry. And I've spent three days texting a man who keeps wishing me a great night like I'm a newsletter he's unsubscribing from. Which is it.
Reggie
I think we should probably be done, but I'm not sure that fits my idea of justice so I've left the door open to talking again. I'm now wondering if that was, in fact, more unkind than just being done, however, so there's some inner turmoil going on here.
Brenna
Flat.You stood me up for three days out of inner turmoil. That's adorable, Reggie. Don't do me any more favours. If you want to be done, be done. Don't tell me you left the door open out of some idea of justice, like you're running a courtroom and I'm waiting on bail.
Reggie
I didn't stand you up at all. I suggested we talk more in a few days and we are talking.
Brenna
Quiet for a second, the real kind.You're right.Quickly, without decoration.Which is extremely annoying and you should know that.
Reggie
What is it you want of me, Brenna? We've been on two dates, have never slept together, and then you didn't show for the third. We're not exactly Romeo & Juliet.
Brenna
She opens her mouth and closes it, which doesn't happen often.I want you to stop treating me like a problem you've already solved. That's what I want. You kissed me twice, you were good at it, I liked you. Yes, I screwed up Wednesday. But I'm on the phone right now and so are you, so clearly we're not nothing.
Reggie
What specifically do you want. Actions, not feelings.
Brenna
He's asking her for a list. Like she's placing an order.A third date. A real one. Dinner. And you stop with the 'have a great night.'
Reggie
No, thank you. I'm happy to meet for coffee if you would like. To talk about our different approaches to time management. And to talk about whatever else we might want to talk about. But I'm not interested in getting a suit on and going for a meal I don't particularly want, when I'm not sure the girl I'm going with will even show up. And since you're not interested in that and I'm not interested in dinner, it seems quite hopeless. Shall we just let this end naturally?
Brenna
Quiet long enough to pass for composure.I've been called a lot of things, Reggie. A scheduling problem is new. And you're right, which is the second time tonight, and I'm already sick of it. Fine. Coffee. When?
Reggie
Civic Plaza? I'll get Tim's and we can sit on a bench and chat. In 30 minutes so you don't have time to put on any makeup. Good?
Brenna
Three full seconds of nothing.That's the most offensive thing you've said all conversation. Fine. Thirty minutes.
Reggie
Try not to look like a Taiwanese fan dancer. And don't google what they look like or you'll be late. Small with one cream?
Brenna
I already googled it. Small with one cream is correct. I hate you a little bit right now.
Reggie
See you in a bit.
Civic Plaza, Surrey, BC, Canada. Saturday.
Reggie
I order by phone app, pickup in 20 minutes. Walk downstairs and pick up the coffees. Walk back into the plaza. Brenna is walking up. She must have parked on the street. She looks more natural than she did on either date that she showed up for, and far sexier because she wasn't trying so hard.Hey. You look great. You should wear less makeup more often. Here's your coffee.
Brenna
She takes the coffee first, because her hands need something to do, then looks at him.You said that out loud. To my face. In a plaza.Evenly.It was a good twenty minutes, by the way. I only googled the fan dancers for ten of them.
Reggie
Let's sit on these benches close to the fountains. The fountains turn on at random intervals until 6 pm and I'm hoping they hit your perfect hair and make you freak out a bit. Also the kids on their bikes may ride too close to you and make you dodge.I sit comfortably and smile.
Brenna
She looks at the benches, the fountains, him.You picked this bench on purpose.She sits anyway, coffee in both hands, spine straight, ankles crossed.If those things go off on me, Reggie, I will be completely calm about it and absolutely furious.
Reggie
I look at her. Up and down. Shamelessly. She really is beautiful. But she's so uptight. I laugh.For God's sake, relax. You look like you have something stuck up your ass. What did you want to talk about? Just more about how you're sorry for standing me up and let's go to Diva at the Met now?
Brenna
She relaxes her spine one deliberate inch.I don't want to go to Diva.A sip, eyes on him over the rim.I want to know what it would actually take. Not coffee as a consolation prize. What would change your mind about dinner, if anything. I'm on a plaza bench in no makeup being insulted about my posture, so clearly I think you're worth something. I'd like to know if you think the same.
Reggie
I wasn't insulting you. I was joking. And I'm sorry if I offended you. I truly meant no offence. You look very beautiful, truly. And I meant it about being more beautiful with less makeup on. This version of you looks like a girl any guy could fall in love with. And please stop treating this like a negotiation. "Do this and I'll grant you another dinner." It shouldn't be a transaction.
Brenna
She takes the apology in and looks at the fountain instead of him.That's the first thing you've said today without an exit attached. I was treating it like a negotiation. That's what I do when I'm nervous, and I hate that you've made me admit it next to a fountain that is going to hit me.
Reggie
You still look like you have something up your butt, but I'll give you a few minutes. You might relax.A kid rides his tiny bike nearby. We don't have to dodge but we're aware of him closely.Do you want kids, Brenna?
Brenna
She tracks the kid on the bike until he's out of range, then looks at her coffee.You really can't help it, can you. I wanted them. When I was younger I assumed they'd happen. Then I was married and it wasn't the right time, and then it was the right time and we weren't, and then it was too late. Do I wish I had them now? Some days. Why are you asking me that on a bench?
Reggie
To make conversation. Because that kid made me think of it. Because you look like a girl worth having kids with today instead of an exhausting diva. And I get the timer. When a kid turns 25, I'll be 70. That's not a comfortable spread. I'd not be the father his son was ashamed of at school pickups.
Brenna
She watches the kid round the corner.The timer. You actually did the math. The school pickups. Men don't usually.
Reggie
It's something 45-year-old men do. While we hope that the gene scientists perfect baby factories before the human race dies out because this generation has flubbed its turn.
Brenna
She laughs, the short uncontrolled kind, not the dinner-table one.So the plan is hold on until science sorts it out. I had a whole speech for this bench, Reggie. Very dignified. You've derailed it with fan dancers and pickup math and baby factories, and I'm laughing at a fountain in no makeup, which was your plan, and I want you to know I'm aware of it.
Reggie
You forgot the butt plug. And it wasn't my plan. You're the one who wanted to talk. And then you had nothing to talk about so I'm talking. It's polite.
Brenna
The laugh tries to come back and she fights it.I did have things to talk about. I had a speech. You started on bike lanes and I lost my place. It was a very good speech, for the record.
Reggie
Look, Brenna, you didn't show up for a date. You're not Hitler now. Your life looks pretty much exactly the same today as it did before you missed that date. Except the guy you skipped isn't eager to schedule with you again, which is a pretty normal consequence of skipping something. Why the drama? I'm easily replaceable.
Brenna
The cup stops moving. It's a fair question and she's angry at how fair it is.That's a convenient thing to say when you're holding all the cards on this bench. You want to know why there's drama? Because I don't chase. I don't apologize twice, and I don't sit on plaza benches in day-old mascara for men I think are replaceable. So don't minimize it so you can feel like the reasonable one. You know why I'm here.
Reggie
Actually I don't. There are tons of guys who perform the rooftop bar act better than I do. Who will do the wine tasting ritual without thinking everyone involved is a pretentious twit. Who will take up a bit more vertical space, reflect a little more light, and display a few more labels from haute couture houses. I'd understand you chasing one of those guys. I honestly don't understand you chasing me.
Brenna
Because you're the only one who's said anything real to me in longer than I'll admit, you idiot.A sip of coffee, as if she can walk it back.The rooftop guys don't laugh at me. They agree with everything and refill my glass and bore me senseless. You called me a Taiwanese fan dancer and told me to sit up straight and I'm still here. Don't ask me to explain it like it's reasonable. It isn't. That's rather the point.
Reggie
And I'll make impolite and undignified comments about what accessories you might be sitting on. Whatever value that adds, it wasn't enough value to stop you from choosing some other guy the other day, and choosing him so completely that you couldn't even text me to cancel.
Brenna
She looks at the fountain, not at him.It wasn't—She stops.Something came up. It won't happen again.
Reggie
Someone came up. And I'm not mad about it, Brenna. We owe each other nothing at all. I honestly hope it works for you.
Brenna
The fountain finally pulses. She flinches half an inch, rights the coffee, pretends it didn't happen.I know you're not mad. That's the hardest part to sit with. What do you mean you hope it works for me?
Reggie
I mean I hope you fall madly in love and that he doesn't take you too seriously and that for every dinner at Diva you go to looking like a Taiwanese fan dancer, he makes you go to three looking like a normal human girl, and that he learns patiently how to give you orgasms, and that you both beat the odds. Seriously. You deserve that.
Brenna
The fountain pulses again and this time she doesn't flinch. She stares at the water.You put that in the same sentence as Diva at the Met and beating the odds, and meant all of it. You're not being cruel. You want me to go be happy with someone else and you said it like you were handing me a coat. I don't know whether to thank you or throw this coffee at you.
Reggie
What happened? Didn't he text the next day? You texted me back the next day quite...eagerly. Did he ghost or something?
Brenna
She looks at nothing but him.That is none of your business.She hears how it sounds.And no. He didn't ghost. It's complicated.
Reggie
It is absolutely none of my business, which won't stop me from wildly speculating in my mind and coming up with ideas far worse than whatever happened. But in all of those ideas, I don't find an outcome where he's still interested and you still text me eagerly looking to reschedule.
Brenna
The fountain pulses. She doesn't flinch.Of course you are. He's not uninterested, Reggie. He made it very clear where I fit in his schedule, somewhere between a recurring appointment and a nice idea he hasn't committed to, and I don't wait around in someone's schedule. So I texted you. It made perfect sense at the time, and now I'm explaining it on a bench like an idiot, so you can stop speculating.
Reggie
Have you slept with him?
Brenna
She looks at the fountain, takes a sip, sets the cup on her knee. The truth is less dangerous than whatever he's already assembled.Yes. Once. And before you say anything, it had nothing to do with Wednesday. That was my own schedule, not yours.
Reggie
I wasn't going to say anything.I sit there. Not filling the silence.
Brenna
The silence sits on the bench like a third person. He's not reaching for a joke, not giving her the reaction she braced for, and that's worse.You're doing it again. The not-saying-anything thing.
Reggie
You're right. You answered me. You deserve a response. You're sleeping with another guy. And you want another date with me. And all of my instincts say to just run. But I'm in no moral position to judge you because I'm actively trying to screw two other girls and am pretty sure I will succeed with both soon, so the people in glass houses rule applies. So I really have no idea what to say to you.
Brenna
Very still inside the plaza's noise. Not loud. Not the surgical delivery she uses to draw blood.You told me that because I answered honestly and apparently that earns the same back. I don't know whether to be furious or impressed by how completely that makes us even. So we're both idiots.
Reggie
If he was emotionally available, you'd be gone, yes?
Brenna
The answer was right there, elegant, a woman with standards and an exit.No.Quieter than she planned, eyes on the fountain.I thought I was going to say yes just now. And then, no. I don't know when that changed. I hate this bench.
Reggie
Was he good?
Brenna
She turns the cup slowly.No.Drier:Which is its own kind of insulting, frankly.
Reggie
How old is he?
Brenna
Fifty. He's fifty years old and he can't be bothered to text the next day and he's bad at sex. Don't say anything.
Reggie
But my guess is he has three inches on me, reflects a lot of light, looks like he belongs in a suit, makes more money than I do, and performs the uncorking ritual without thinking undignified thoughts.
Brenna
She doesn't track the kid on the bike this time.Yes. All of it. Every item on the list. And I'm sitting on this bench with you, so do what you like with that.
Reggie
Are you going to sleep with him again?
Brenna
She looks at the fountain long enough for the silence to have weight.I don't know. Which is the first time I've said that about anything in recent memory, and I find it annoying.
Reggie
Do you want to?
Brenna
Eyes on the fountain, the one that's been timing the conversation for him all afternoon.No.Simply, which is worse.But he runs on a very specific currency, and if I want him to keep showing up I have to keep paying it. Which I'm telling you on a bench in Civic Plaza, so apparently that's where I am.
Reggie
Did you want to the first time, or was it just another installment payment in the currency he requires?
Brenna
The fountain pulses and she doesn't register it. She sits inside the question a long time.The first time, I wanted to want to. Which I'm aware isn't the same thing. I told myself it was close enough. It wasn't.
Reggie
Five minutes ago, I was pretty resolved to dump you because I don't want to be anyone's backup plan. Now I'm wondering if we're even competing at all. He wants the trophy to display around town and sex with you is like a bear pissing on a bush, marking his territory. I want the trophy to wash off that ridiculous makeup, get some jeans on and dance with me in the fountains, and sex with me is to try to make you come so hard you can't walk right for a few hours, which would amuse me. We're competing for different prizes.
Brenna
You've said about six things this afternoon that should have sent me back to my car. And instead you've just described the only thing in three months that sounds like something I want. But I'm not leaving.
Reggie
I'm not sure if I'm leaving. Honestly not sure. It grosses me out that you're screwing him. But at the same time, I want to screw the other two. Especially one of them, who reads philosophy and who I find very attractive. And I'm not going to stop trying to screw them. So we both have decisions to make about how much bullshit we're willing to accept from the other.
Brenna
She looks at him, unguarded. The fountain pulses and neither of them flinches.You said especially. I won't pretend that doesn't land somewhere specific, because you'd know. How much bullshit am I willing to accept. I don't do uncertainty. I don't do schedules I'm not on. I have never waited for a man to decide what I was worth to him. And I'm still on this bench. So that answers it. What about you.
Reggie
I don't need to wait for a woman to decide what I am worth to her. I already know. Three days ago, I wasn't worth enough for a fucking text to say you couldn't make it. And I'm not happy about that. And "it won't happen again" isn't a particularly impressive response to me.
Brenna
She doesn't move. He's handed back something she wrapped up neatly and hoped he wouldn't open.Three days ago you weren't worth a text. I know that. And what I said after wasn't enough. I don't have a better answer, Reggie, and I'm not going to make one up.
Reggie
Okay, so here's where I am. I'm still on the bench. But if you ever stand me up again, I'm gone. Permanently. If you ever disrespect me in even the slightest way again, I'm gone. Permanently. And I'm going to go screw those other two girls. And you're going to have to live with the fact that I might not have if you hadn't stood me up that night. And that's not a lie. Neither of those girls can become anything permanent and I might've ditched them both if something real had shown up but you're not real to me after last week and may never be, now. And I won't ask you to stop screwing your sugar daddy. And if you want to have coffee again after a week, I'm willing. That's where I'm at.
Brenna
She looks at him the way she hasn't let herself since she sat down.I heard all of it. I'm not going to argue with a word. And I'm not going to pretend that last part doesn't sting, because you'd know. Coffee. In a week. I can live with that.
